Wax Off


Alena Dillon


Last week a salon staff member stood outside her new facility and handed me a card for a free wax, completely unaware that this promotion would send me into a spiral of self examination.

I had to ask myself the crucial question. What do I value more: a deal, or a pain-free existence?

Deals, glorious deals. They are the kerosene that inflames my sparks of satisfaction into a mystifying inferno. A solid Groupon purchase puts a bounce in my step. When we earn enough movie theater points for a free popcorn, I waive that ticket around like it has the winning lotto numbers. As we enjoy our favorite lunch special, I meditate on how the exact same amount of food costs twice the price at dinner, and my eyes turn into those of a cartoon character hit over the head, spinning like slot machine windows until finally landing on dollar…

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